Faith's Funny Friday 2

So its Friday and I am guessing maybe, just maybe this four day work week has indeed felt longer than a regular five day work week and that maybe just maybe you need a laugh. So, as usual let me dig into the embarrassing and bizarre moments in my life, not that its spectacular, but it at least might make your Friday not drag....for at least the three minutes it takes you to read this ;)

For about the entire month of June I fought a terrible cold/sinus infection that moved into my chest and produced a ferocious cough. You know the kind that gets mistaken for a dog's bark. So fast forward to a couple of weeks ago when I had a date. At this point the only thing that really was hanging around from the cold/sinus riot in my body was a little chest congestion and the ferocious hacking cough. No worries, I did warn the poor guy that there was a bass drum stuck in my chest and sometimes tried to fight its way out! He picked me up and we went to dinner. The evening was progressing nicely when all of the sudden there was "the tickle" in the bottom of my throat. Immediately, I take a sip of water hoping that it soothes the tickle. Nope...it just exacerbates the problem. It was kind of an out of body experience at this point because it progressed downhill so fast!! I know my date is talking but I can not hear a word he is saying I am so consumed at this point over this tickle that has now thrown me into a full blown loud hacking coughing fit. I do remember him at some point stopping to see if I was ok...and then watching this unfold like some terrible sitcom. I cough and cough and cough and at this point I am full blown choking...on what??? A tickle. Then, I really get tickled and start laughing because the restaurant was at one point very quiet...until Hooch from Turner and Hooch tried to claw his way out of my chest in the most fierce battle with a bass drum. So there I am hacking my lungs up in this choking, turning purple with alligator tears streaming my make up down my face cough and then laughing because I can imagine the scene and then I hear someone say "Heimlick" which in turns brings me to the reality that I am making a scene in this once quiet place and yes I am turning purple...and I can not catch my breath really and I am now scared I need a depends because this is hysterical!!!! "OH .......DEAR...... GOD!!! PLEASE let the rapture take me at this moment!!" seriously goes through my head!!! But really its probably only hysterical to me because I look around and I can not even locate a restroom in the place to run to.....I think about going outside but then that seems very theatrical...."Where are the bloody bathrooms!?!?!" I mentally scream.....my poor date was concerned I was having an allergic reaction to the shrimp appetizer, this poor random soul said SOMETHING about the Heimlick....and here I am laughing over this dang TICKLE in my throat to the point I am crying alligator tears.....for no reason. Finally, no exagerration over the longest four minutes of my LIFE I gain some composure...and go back to the water trick....which subdues the coughing fit to where its just random outbursts of coughing...and I motion for my date to please continue his normal conversation like nothing happened...because at this point...I have disturbed everyones dinner...I am the girl in the back who people probably think is dying of some contagious tuberculosis....and I need a minute or three to try to find my vocal chords that have literally been displaced by this latest riot. I manage to down two glasses of lemon water and the tickle is gone....but only likes to burst out after I laugh...which my laugh is atrocious and Julia Roberts like anyway!!! But at some point, I gain composure and my voice and finish the date without any more Faith Mishaps.....I think that is the latest embarrassing moment......

Hope you at least smiled!! Happy Friday!!!