I found it!!
Hello, 2011!!
Christmas has once again come and gone and we have 349 days until the day returns (don't waste your time counting to see if thats right, I have it programmed in my phone as a countdown ha!) This year's Christmas was differnt and I can not even really explain it. Maybe it was because I was sick most of the time; maybe because I was absolutely broke and did not get to shop like normal; maybe it was because of some new changes that took place..whatever it was I did not "feel" Christmas this year until Christmas Eve night. I was driving back home from Greg's on 107 and my ipod was playing "Breath of Heaven" by Amy Grant and as I passed the beautiful manger scenes and the dazzling lights, I found Christmas. Sure, I only had about 24 hours of it left but what mattered was that I found it. It was not in the gifts, the lights, the decorations, the food, the friends, or the family no...but it was within me. It was a stirring deep within my spirit, listening to the words "Mary" sang. I can not really put into words what happened within me that Christmas Eve night; it was magical, it was SO God. It was like I could see Christmas for the first time. This probably sounds crazy to you, but I AM Miss Christmas and this year I could not find it for anything. I tried everything, I tried to create a joy within me because of this season but failed everytime. It was not until I sang and genuinely prayed the words of Mary's Song, Breath of Heaven that I could see Christmas..I could feel Christmas. ANd its not the Christmas we know that comes in on a magical cold evening filled with loved ones on December 24 and leaves swiftly on December 25, this Christmas that I found will forever be with me. My child like faith was renewed; my Joy was restored; the eyes of my aching heart were opened; there's a thirst within my being like never before. I promise you I believe and angel drove me home that night, because I was in another place....not here. I was on my face in awe of My God. It was an epiphany like never before...Mary, the mother of Jesus was a virgin.(PLEASE let that sink in!! think back to your bioligy classes and wrap your mind around that!!).... Of course!! that is the way Jesus came to us. And if you grew up in church like I did, you know the Christmas story by heart because as a child you were taught it at an early age. So, I KNEW she was a virgin.... she was only engaged...but never in my adult life have I been so astounded...never have I really let THAT sink in,have you? In today's society, being a virgin is so unheard of so I think we have become numb to the fact that God used an unmarried virgin to carry His Son, Jesus, in a day where she would be an outcast or even stoned. We have become numb to the miracle of what the Christmas Story is, and that THIS should be the Christmas in our hearts 365 days a year.
There was so much happening in my being that night that when I walked in my house my mom just smiled at my tears and all I could say was "I found it!!" and now I literally am at a loss for words, still, to describe to you the encounter I had. I just know that I will not be the same and I will never look at Christmas the same again.This is probably not making any sense and is just another late night ramble that I honestly did NOT sit down to write in fact I had other plans for my first blog of the new year..yeah...but maybe I needed to get part of this out...and maybe in some universe it makes sense or someone understands... or your're getting a good laugh ;) Either way, I hope you still have Christmas in your heart....I hope and pray that this year, when the season comes that you not get lost in the hustle and bustle and the ribbon and the baking and the hosting and the boughs of holly...but get lost in the miracle of Christmas.
My Prayer: "But I offer all that I am , for the mercy of Your plan, Help me be strong, help me be, help me, Breath of Heaven, hold me together, be forever near me, breath of heaven, breath of heaven lighten my darkness pour over me your holiness for you are holy, breath of heaven"
Christmas has once again come and gone and we have 349 days until the day returns (don't waste your time counting to see if thats right, I have it programmed in my phone as a countdown ha!) This year's Christmas was differnt and I can not even really explain it. Maybe it was because I was sick most of the time; maybe because I was absolutely broke and did not get to shop like normal; maybe it was because of some new changes that took place..whatever it was I did not "feel" Christmas this year until Christmas Eve night. I was driving back home from Greg's on 107 and my ipod was playing "Breath of Heaven" by Amy Grant and as I passed the beautiful manger scenes and the dazzling lights, I found Christmas. Sure, I only had about 24 hours of it left but what mattered was that I found it. It was not in the gifts, the lights, the decorations, the food, the friends, or the family no...but it was within me. It was a stirring deep within my spirit, listening to the words "Mary" sang. I can not really put into words what happened within me that Christmas Eve night; it was magical, it was SO God. It was like I could see Christmas for the first time. This probably sounds crazy to you, but I AM Miss Christmas and this year I could not find it for anything. I tried everything, I tried to create a joy within me because of this season but failed everytime. It was not until I sang and genuinely prayed the words of Mary's Song, Breath of Heaven that I could see Christmas..I could feel Christmas. ANd its not the Christmas we know that comes in on a magical cold evening filled with loved ones on December 24 and leaves swiftly on December 25, this Christmas that I found will forever be with me. My child like faith was renewed; my Joy was restored; the eyes of my aching heart were opened; there's a thirst within my being like never before. I promise you I believe and angel drove me home that night, because I was in another place....not here. I was on my face in awe of My God. It was an epiphany like never before...Mary, the mother of Jesus was a virgin.(PLEASE let that sink in!! think back to your bioligy classes and wrap your mind around that!!).... Of course!! that is the way Jesus came to us. And if you grew up in church like I did, you know the Christmas story by heart because as a child you were taught it at an early age. So, I KNEW she was a virgin.... she was only engaged...but never in my adult life have I been so astounded...never have I really let THAT sink in,have you? In today's society, being a virgin is so unheard of so I think we have become numb to the fact that God used an unmarried virgin to carry His Son, Jesus, in a day where she would be an outcast or even stoned. We have become numb to the miracle of what the Christmas Story is, and that THIS should be the Christmas in our hearts 365 days a year.
There was so much happening in my being that night that when I walked in my house my mom just smiled at my tears and all I could say was "I found it!!" and now I literally am at a loss for words, still, to describe to you the encounter I had. I just know that I will not be the same and I will never look at Christmas the same again.This is probably not making any sense and is just another late night ramble that I honestly did NOT sit down to write in fact I had other plans for my first blog of the new year..yeah...but maybe I needed to get part of this out...and maybe in some universe it makes sense or someone understands... or your're getting a good laugh ;) Either way, I hope you still have Christmas in your heart....I hope and pray that this year, when the season comes that you not get lost in the hustle and bustle and the ribbon and the baking and the hosting and the boughs of holly...but get lost in the miracle of Christmas.
My Prayer: "But I offer all that I am , for the mercy of Your plan, Help me be strong, help me be, help me, Breath of Heaven, hold me together, be forever near me, breath of heaven, breath of heaven lighten my darkness pour over me your holiness for you are holy, breath of heaven"
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