Faith's Findings

Betrayal.Desperation.Hurt.Forgiveness.Growth You lied for months. Made me a fool. You didn't lie by omission. You lied with words with actions with smiles with charms. You became desperate, desperate for conversation but most of all desperate for attention and at whatever cost. You threw it away what you said you valued all for some attention. even with my secrets  in your heart you chose you. The hurt swarms. The hurt changes. The hurt is like the ebb  and flow of the tide. I can't explain it. I can't hide it Though I try. I know I'm to forgive  The transgressions. I know this is a growth  process. I know I want Him more Than I want to slap you. Well, most days, that is if I'm honest. So forgiveness, too Is like the ebb and flow the tide. The hardest lesson  Is learning not to trust And to trust. That forgiveness isn't  Your key in But my key out Out of the hurt ...

An Open Letter:  To the person who has caused my family so much grief the past few months: You have proven yourself to be the most selfish person that I know—and I teach teenagers, that really says something. You have proven yourself to be more manipulative and conniving than anyone ever suspected. You have used your words like swords; your actions like boulders—cutting and crushing everyone and everything in your path. You honestly believe the lies that you have spread. Man, you are a real piece of work.  But, I don’t want to spend this letter hashing out everything that has happened. There’s a 15 page handwritten letter in the notebook on my coffee table that does just that. What I do want to do here is thank you. Thank you for this crazy season. In your craziness, I have been able to learn more about my Lord. Yes, there are days when I would love nothing more than to shake you or throat punch you, but the fact that I haven’t is proof that He is working.  ...

  * I urge you to listen to the song linked at the bottom of this post.* I sat and watched you in awe. I couldn't even imagine your insides as everyone watched her take your place. Watching her and… …Knowing that you knew your...her...your son better. …Knowing that this is totally out of your hands. …Knowing time is precious, yet you share it with her and him...them. …Knowing you are all he knows. …Knowing that while he knows her heartbeat from the inside, he knows that he is your heartbeat. …Knowing that if.... when...if....Lord willing not... but if...okay, when you have to hand him back,  part of you will die..... The part of you that thrives, that loves, that lives will die. …Knowing that this should be well will your, my, everyone’s soul. “So let go my soul and trust in Him The waves and wind still know His name” I found myself weeping and screaming at the word cancer dancing in my face. This was not supposed to happen to you. For you are a t...

To the husband and wife who curled their noses at me, only after giving me the judgmental once over, and then proceeded to make rude comments about my physical appearance, while I was within earshot: I pity you.        You are the part of society that tells people they are never enough: their bodies are never fit enough; their hair never quite right; their crooked smile isn't white enough; their laugh is too loud; their thighs don’t have a gap; and the list could go on and on.         I left my house Saturday feeling pretty, an occurrence that does not happen all that often between the teacher clothes and sweatpants. I left my house looking forward to a shopping trip with some sweet ladies, whom I cherish. This was a good day and I had won the mental battle; a battle that should never have to be fought, except there are people like you in this world. After hearing your rude comments and how you summed me up ...