Faith's Findings

What started out as a ramble of my heart a week ago has come to fruition through tears and a broken heart.  Ramble: The past few weeks have been a national, state, city, and personal nightmare. We have seen our version of a civil war and lives have been lost. I physically ache for each person. I physically ache for my dear friends who are cops. I physically ache for unjustified killings. I physically ache for the racism in this country. Rob Flaherty tweeted: “There’s no sides here. Cops protecting peaceful protestors. Black men unjustly killed. Your heart can break for both.” Come, Jesus, Come. And because our offenses are so high these days, I know that some will be offended by this and totally miss the point. And my heart aches for that.   The Point: The above has been sitting on my computer screen for a week. Now, with my heart in pieces all over again, I am sitting here and trying to find the words that explain my heart. If my heart ...

January 11, 2013 If I wrote in a diary every day, today’s entry would read something like this: Today, January 11, 2013, was a day full extreme emotions. I grieved, laughed, cried for joy and grief, but most of all, I lived. I saw life ending, life beginning and life being. I saw life through the eyes of dirty little boys and heard the laughter and mystery of a lioness’ roar. I saw grief in the eyes of a 12 and 7 year old that I love dearly. I saw God’s merciful hand in a single tear drop. I laughed til my head hurt over some kings and queens and good food. I was “mama fefe” until my ovaries literally ache with desire. I was welcomed by a goat of all things. Confessions flowed from tongues and fell on open, prayerful hearts. Tonight, as I reflect on this day, I am exhausted and thankful that today I felt every emotion that I felt. I am thankful that today, I lived. I wept for the memories mercifully taken from the future. I cackled at the yesteryear’s ignorant bliss and today’s...

So I know this is months later, but I found this "blog" on my computer and wanted to share: It’s New Year’s Eve and 2008 is quickly coming to a close. No big party this year. No big midnight celebration for me; instead, I sit alone with Alex snuggled next to me and I am anxious. Anxious. The last two years have been a hurricane of real life with this past fall as a defining moment in life for me. I’m anxious to say goodbye to a year whose events will forever be with me and hello to a year with its own adventures and memories to be made. 2008. I never thought, never in my wildest imagination dreamed of a 2008 like I had. January, I don’t even remember you except for a fabulous 23rd birthday party. February and March brought restoration for a father and son. April, I don’t remember you but May, let the craziness begin. On May 28th, I found out my job was being outsourced to Houston. That evening there was confessed love and a proposal. June, you brought a family reunion to reme...

"Just close your eyes and keep your mind wide open." "I seriously do not think God goes around damning people to hell. " "Why not? " "He's too busy making all this!" "You have to believe it and you hate it. I don't have to believe it and I love it!" The quotes above are taken from the movie "Bridge to Terabithia." I sat down to watch it this weekend and was totally enthralled from the beginning only to have my heart ripped out at the end, and we won’t even mention me crying like my best friend just died. Infact, they should change the name to “Bridge to Tear-Your- Heart- Out”! Anyway, like I do with most simple things in life, I looked for the deeper meaning of this movie. (ha! I know...I am one of a kind!) This movie was only half of what I expected but in a good way. The quotes above are probably my most favorite from the film. "Just close your eyes and keep your mind wide open." Hmmm, reminds me of the Bib...