My Heart is Black and Blue

What started out as a ramble of my heart a week ago has come to fruition through tears and a broken heart. 

Ramble:

The past few weeks have been a national, state, city, and personal nightmare. We have seen our version of a civil war and lives have been lost.

I physically ache for each person. I physically ache for my dear friends who are cops. I physically ache for unjustified killings. I physically ache for the racism in this country.

Rob Flaherty tweeted: “There’s no sides here. Cops protecting peaceful protestors. Black men unjustly killed. Your heart can break for both.”

Come, Jesus, Come.

And because our offenses are so high these days, I know that some will be offended by this and totally miss the point. And my heart aches for that. 

The Point:

The above has been sitting on my computer screen for a week. Now, with my heart in pieces all over again, I am sitting here and trying to find the words that explain my heart. If my heart has ever been broken---it is now. If my heart has ever physically ached---it is now. If my heart has ever been torn---it is now.

I struggle to find the words of compassion, words that plead for unity without offending either…dare I say side? And then it hits me----this is what it has come to. We have sides. We have sides. And this isn’t even a political race. This isn’t even a football game. This is a war. There is a civil war developing in our streets. And all I can do is weep.

I weep for the men and women who patrol the streets. I weep for the mother who has buried her son. I weep for the wife who buries her husband as she holds the hands of her children, who will grow up without a father.  I weep for the victims. I weep for the heroes. I weep for the families. I weep for the ones filled with so much hate. I weep. I weep because both “sides” lose. And we----who are so clouded with hate and opinions that we cannot truly see that both “sides” lose. Life is lost. Life---the most precious and short gift---is taken.

We create memes. We write blogs (like this one). We post statuses. We delete and unfriend. We block. We like and share. We debate. But, what are we really doing to help this growing issue in our land. Or---do we just see it as “their” issue?

I am not ignorant to the racism that is still rampant in this country that far exceeds black and white. I am not ignorant to the fact that not all cops are upstanding, just like not all teachers are great. But no one is shooting at teachers over bad test scores or inappropriate behavior----yet.

This violence is not solving anything. I know---real grand of a statement---but it’s so simple, yet we can’t put down our words and guns long enough to rationally handle these issues of the heart. We can’t come together because we are so focused on ourselves.

I am not real sure where we, as a divided people, go from here. But maybe we can start by putting down our offenses. Maybe we can start by loving. Maybe we can start by “bearing one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2; Philippians 2:4). Maybe we can see this as a humankind issue---not separated by skin color or religion. Maybe we can come together as brokenhearted individuals who say, "Enough." Maybe we can love each other through this.

Maybe we need to search our own hearts before anything will happen to influence such a stand...

Until next time...