Faith's Findings

     For months, Jimmie and I have been in and out of courtrooms and attorney offices over our children. One in which was such a happy occasion where I was able to legally call them mine through the gift of adoption. It is not lost on me the beauty here or that this is an answer to their biological mother’s prayers. I am humbled to be given such a gift and journey.       Other times we’ve been fighting to keep our children and keeping their physical and emotional well beings safe. And because I am struggling, I physically cannot type anymore about this with details because I’m struggling with words. Correction: I’m struggling with Christ-like words.       I let my kids play barefoot at the park just the other day. I sat and watched my kids be kids. I listened to the screams, the giggles, the shrieks of delight. I watched as my Elsa chased my Captain America. And grief and courtrooms were a million miles away.  Th...

Usually, I do a post for thanksgiving. Sometimes the post is raw, well let’s be real they usually all are raw. Last year I didn’t do an actual Thanksgiving blog, but I mentioned it all in the annual birthday blog. What I mentioned was that I had reached a point of being thankful for the empty chairs at my moms dining table. I wrote about that journey and what a long journey that was; but let me say this, I am still thankful for that season. However, this season looks quite different. Now there’s a “leaf” in my moms table and we are overflowing. In a God-like fashion He brought me this beautiful love story.  As I type this, I’m snuggled between my two babies while my fiancé is at his house. It should also be noted that I’ve never slept with this many stuffed animals in my bed.  Part of the beauty here, this thanksgiving, is that I’m not just thankful today. This has been a season of being thankful despite circumstances. But during this season, I’m waking up a...

Lamentations 3:22-23 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram, then you know that since my last post my life has drastically changed. The Lord has given me a treasure. He has given me the physical embodiment of my prayers in Jimmie and these precious babies. I don’t mean that to be cliché, but I mean that as if you were to look in the box of letters/prayers that’s under my bed, you would see just how beautiful this is. Of all the views I’ve ever posted about, this is one that stops me in my tracks. This one is the most beautiful. This one is it - the one He has ordained- the one for which I’ve prayed - the one that is proof of His faithfulness.   The view might be different than what I or some of those who walked this journey with me imagined. But when I see this view, I know without a shadow of doubt that He ...

Every year I write a New Year's and/or birthday blog. This year is no different, except that 2016 & 31 go together and it is a bit late. So, here goes... I've been reading a lot of original and shared posts about 2016 being a terrible year and people feeling accosted by the year. 2016 was an eventful year for sure---when looking on a global, national, and spiritual scale. But to say it was the worst personally, I just can't. I can't look back be ungrateful or sad about what this year has been. Without all of the tragedy, I cannot appreciate the beauty. I cannot appreciate the growth in society or in myself without tragedy. I know this maybe sound odd, but 2016 was a year of growth. It was a year where I learned to choose me, and not in a selfish manner.  In 2016, at the age of 31... ...I ended a relationship and said to my friends "I feel like I just said no to getting married and having children." But, what I said no to was settling. What I...

An Open Letter:  To the person who has caused my family so much grief the past few months: You have proven yourself to be the most selfish person that I know—and I teach teenagers, that really says something. You have proven yourself to be more manipulative and conniving than anyone ever suspected. You have used your words like swords; your actions like boulders—cutting and crushing everyone and everything in your path. You honestly believe the lies that you have spread. Man, you are a real piece of work.  But, I don’t want to spend this letter hashing out everything that has happened. There’s a 15 page handwritten letter in the notebook on my coffee table that does just that. What I do want to do here is thank you. Thank you for this crazy season. In your craziness, I have been able to learn more about my Lord. Yes, there are days when I would love nothing more than to shake you or throat punch you, but the fact that I haven’t is proof that He is working.  ...

Sorry I am late posting this--I know none of you were able to officially start your New Year without it--hahaha! Every year, I write a reflective end of the year blog around New Year's Eve. In past years, I have reflected month by month complete with pictures for this post. However, this year, I think I am changing it up---I mean my two readers don't really care, do you?!?---okay then! 2013 was full of lessons, discoveries, and journeys, but in this blog, I will relive the 13 highlights of '13. 13 highlights of 2013 Lost weight ---This is a continuous journey, but 35 pounds and 26 inches lost and kept off is a big deal!! Next year, well at the end of this year, I hope to be posting a picture in my first two piece swimsuit---hahaha--okay I won't scar my two readers:-) Teaching ---What a glorious and surreal event---I am officially a teacher in Rapides Parish. Scary, right?!?! It has been such a wild ride getting to this point that I can't help but feel...