ABC: Adoption, Bibles, and Courtrooms


     For months, Jimmie and I have been in and out of courtrooms and attorney offices over our children. One in which was such a happy occasion where I was able to legally call them mine through the gift of adoption. It is not lost on me the beauty here or that this is an answer to their biological mother’s prayers. I am humbled to be given such a gift and journey. 

     Other times we’ve been fighting to keep our children and keeping their physical and emotional well beings safe. And because I am struggling, I physically cannot type anymore about this with details because I’m struggling with words. Correction: I’m struggling with Christ-like words. 

     I let my kids play barefoot at the park just the other day. I sat and watched my kids be kids. I listened to the screams, the giggles, the shrieks of delight. I watched as my Elsa chased my Captain America. And grief and courtrooms were a million miles away. 
This is what I wish the people of the court could see. Then the contrast when they are forced to go back to the grief stricken places. 

     At my last doctor’s appointment for our Libby girl, I started crying over what a beautiful experience this is....and what intricate design He took in this process....

    And there it is....”intricate design in this process”. 
But doesn’t He always have an intricate design in the process, whichever process we are going through? 
For me currently, there are a few: custody and pregnancy. And the revelations through this  pregnancy process is overflowing into my other process and forcing me to stop or be still, if you will, and know. 

However, I do question, what is justice?

What is justice?

Justice. 
Fairness. 
Truth. 

The dictionary says justice is “the quality of being just, impartial, or fair; conformity to truth, fact, or reason.” 
Synonyms for justice include fairness, fair-mindedness, honesty, morality.

But what does it look like in real life?? 
Is it a five year old fighting cancer? 
Is it children having a parent ripped away from them in death?
Is it children being forced to go back to a place with upsetting memories?
Is it children being the pawns of someone else’s control or lack thereof? 
Is it an innocent man taking my sin upon the cross?

I’m struggling to find a picture of what justice looks like. More specifically, I’m struggling to find the justice here for my kids. 

     Where is the fairness—the justice—when I am forced to send my kids to a place that causes them so much emotional distress and they use word phrases like, “don’t feel safe,” or “don’t feel loved” “lies” or “mean”? And that’s just part of what they tell us.

     So, if you took the time to read this ramble...
And if you happen to think of me and my little family this weekend, please pray for us. 

While Jimmie and I know that this could be much worse, it doesn’t negate the fear, the worry, the unknown, or just the reality of how hard this weekend is. 

Until next time, dearies!

Comments

Anonymous said…
I love y'all, and I'm sorry that people are so greedy and selfish in grief. But, it happens. And we, thankfully, are only responible for our reaction to the hurt.
Dara
Anonymous said…
My 3 older siblings lost their birth mother to death at the birth of their then youngest sibling. I was born first child of their new mother and our father. The family of my siblings mother became my family also, as did my mother's family to them. All were included and accepted. But, I recently sat with an adult friend who, at 2 years of age, lost her birth mother. She struggles now trying to make up for the lost years with her birth relatives because her new mother cut them all out of her life. Several other friends who lost mothers have had the same sad and hurtful experience. As much as you dislike sharing them with their birth relatives, please, please remember that those sad memories only remain sad if their story stops there. Please don't take away their birth family and their connection to their birth mother. Your children already love you and will respect you and love you all the more if you include ALL of those who love them deeply.
Anonymous said…

Thank you Anonymous for your post. I am the father from the blog. Please know I have 20 plus years of family ministry experience. The whole situation has been looked at by several professionals some court appointed counselors and some of my personal choosing. All professionals involved were in 100% agreement that anything more than 2 days with out a long break around my first spouse’s family is not healthy for the children. I have video documentation and others of showing the unhealthy behavior of there actions plus also the court documents of their countless falsified statements they have made. So the decisions my wife and I made are decisions made under the wisdom and guidance from several professionals with years of experience and visitation is based on a judgement from the court and every court appearance this far, visitation gets subtracted. Thank you for your concern and comment. You may contact me personally on my Facebook if you think you may have some insightful wisdom to share.
-Jimmie Tupper

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