Showing posts from January, 2015


30 There it is. Staring me in the face------taunting me. Laughing that sinister laugh. 30 "Age is just a number." "Age is a state of mind." “You will be a real grown up now.” “Thirty is the new twenty.” “Everything starts falling apart after 30 hits.” I've been told both of these recently when mentioning my dread of turning 30. When I've pictured 30, it never looked like this----seriously. 30 30 looked a lot more June Cleaveresque, not this modern, independent stuck-in-a-world-where-literally-everyone-around-me-is-June-Cleavering-it-up view I'm living. And instead of having 1-2 children running around or at the very least a sparkly ring on my hand, I'm texting my bestie about freezing eggs and sperm donors (By the way, we're curious.  Is there a magazine of donors one chooses from??) 30---if I keep saying it, it will become easier to swallow, right?!?!  Thirty-Thirty-30-Thirty-30-Thirty-30 “And so I

Grief Revisited

“There are no words to console you during this time...” “You and your family are in my prayers during this time…” “…during this time” I typed the latter to a friend and it stared at me, waiting to be posted forever as my humble condolence to a friend. I couldn’t hit the enter button because the line read as if grief was a time period ---a set amount of time for grieving. Anyone who has ever lost someone dear knows that grief is infinite. The loss of someone changes who one is as a person, even ones’ entire existence. Grief is never over, it just changes faces. The funny thing about grief is that in the moment time stops for one person, time does not stop for the mourners. Life goes on and we just try to catch our breath as time ticks by. Tears fall and hearts break and the clock keeps ticking as if nothing happened. I think about the time after my grandpa passed. My grandma was a wreck and just six months later, almost to the day, she had to have open heart