Grief Revisited
“There
are no words to console you during this time...”
“You and
your family are in my prayers during this time…”
“…during
this time”
I typed
the latter to a friend and it stared at me, waiting to be posted forever as my
humble condolence to a friend. I couldn’t hit the enter button because the line read as if grief was a time period
---a set amount of time for grieving. Anyone who has ever lost someone dear
knows that grief is infinite. The loss of someone changes who one is as a
person, even ones’ entire existence. Grief is never over, it just changes
faces.
The
funny thing about grief is that in the moment time stops for one person, time
does not stop for the mourners. Life goes on and we just try to catch our
breath as time ticks by. Tears fall and hearts break and the clock keeps
ticking as if nothing happened.
I think
about the time after my grandpa passed. My grandma was a wreck and just six
months later, almost to the day, she had to have open heart surgery. Sure, all
of my medical people could tell you the reasons, but this literary nerd can
tell you how symbolic it was. You see, she had to, to be able to live; she had
to have a total heart transformation. While hers was physical, I believe that
God performs open heart surgery when waves of grief rise up and overwhelm us.
When all
we want is time to pause, and to catch a good breath, and be able to face the
reality that has hit us, God is performing His own open heart surgery. He is
using circumstances beyond our control and understanding for His Glory. He is
rearranging hearts to grieve and see Him in a new light. He is rearranging
hearts---lives--- to be changed forever.
There
literally are no words to console a grieving one….ever. And that person and
their family may be in my prayers….from now until….
I don’t
know why we say “during this time.” Maybe because “this time” is how we think
of, for life does go on. But, to those of us who have experienced grief in its
rawest form know that “this time” is a new reality---a new life, because life
has been drastically changed.
Grief---it’s
a funny thing because there’s no true definition of the thing. Grief is
revisited for as long as there is breath in the one grieving. It never goes
away, but just changes faces; and some of those faces are absolutely beautiful
by His grace.
My
aching heart is rambling, but I will leave you with this:
Until next time, Dearies...
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