Grief Revisited

“There are no words to console you during this time...”

“You and your family are in my prayers during this time…”

“…during this time”

I typed the latter to a friend and it stared at me, waiting to be posted forever as my humble condolence to a friend. I couldn’t hit the enter button because the line read as if grief was a time period ---a set amount of time for grieving. Anyone who has ever lost someone dear knows that grief is infinite. The loss of someone changes who one is as a person, even ones’ entire existence. Grief is never over, it just changes faces.

The funny thing about grief is that in the moment time stops for one person, time does not stop for the mourners. Life goes on and we just try to catch our breath as time ticks by. Tears fall and hearts break and the clock keeps ticking as if nothing happened.

I think about the time after my grandpa passed. My grandma was a wreck and just six months later, almost to the day, she had to have open heart surgery. Sure, all of my medical people could tell you the reasons, but this literary nerd can tell you how symbolic it was. You see, she had to, to be able to live; she had to have a total heart transformation. While hers was physical, I believe that God performs open heart surgery when waves of grief rise up and overwhelm us.

When all we want is time to pause, and to catch a good breath, and be able to face the reality that has hit us, God is performing His own open heart surgery. He is using circumstances beyond our control and understanding for His Glory. He is rearranging hearts to grieve and see Him in a new light. He is rearranging hearts---lives--- to be changed forever.

There literally are no words to console a grieving one….ever. And that person and their family may be in my prayers….from now until….   

I don’t know why we say “during this time.” Maybe because “this time” is how we think of, for life does go on. But, to those of us who have experienced grief in its rawest form know that “this time” is a new reality---a new life, because life has been drastically changed.

Grief---it’s a funny thing because there’s no true definition of the thing. Grief is revisited for as long as there is breath in the one grieving. It never goes away, but just changes faces; and some of those faces are absolutely beautiful by His grace.

My aching heart is rambling, but I will leave you with this:

 

Until next time, Dearies...