Faith's Findings

Reading and the paper calls Reading and I can’t focus So, I toss the blank pages  on the floor that calls  “Lay out on me” I choose my pen carefully  for I am not sure where this journey is heading. But I am here— prostrate on the floor and the ink flowing out in a dance that has lately  been replaces with the click-click-click of the keys. Oh—this— This soulful ink that is  waiting for the dam to break———————————————— But is there a dam this time? Sure, I cried a little  at the initial break but I can’t find the tears anymore. I can’t find the anger. I can’t find the care. Could it be that I’m so  jaded that rejection is just in stride now? No. Possibly, this is a sign of growth Spiritually for me. Quite possibly all of those prayers that I covered him-us-me-him-us-me in were answered. Quite possibly this is what it is to truly “Just trust [Him].” Qu...

Every year I write a New Year's and/or birthday blog. This year is no different, except that 2016 & 31 go together and it is a bit late. So, here goes... I've been reading a lot of original and shared posts about 2016 being a terrible year and people feeling accosted by the year. 2016 was an eventful year for sure---when looking on a global, national, and spiritual scale. But to say it was the worst personally, I just can't. I can't look back be ungrateful or sad about what this year has been. Without all of the tragedy, I cannot appreciate the beauty. I cannot appreciate the growth in society or in myself without tragedy. I know this maybe sound odd, but 2016 was a year of growth. It was a year where I learned to choose me, and not in a selfish manner.  In 2016, at the age of 31... ...I ended a relationship and said to my friends "I feel like I just said no to getting married and having children." But, what I said no to was settling. What I...

“There are no words to console you during this time...” “You and your family are in my prayers during this time…” “…during this time” I typed the latter to a friend and it stared at me, waiting to be posted forever as my humble condolence to a friend. I couldn’t hit the enter button because the line read as if grief was a time period ---a set amount of time for grieving. Anyone who has ever lost someone dear knows that grief is infinite. The loss of someone changes who one is as a person, even ones’ entire existence. Grief is never over, it just changes faces. The funny thing about grief is that in the moment time stops for one person, time does not stop for the mourners. Life goes on and we just try to catch our breath as time ticks by. Tears fall and hearts break and the clock keeps ticking as if nothing happened. I think about the time after my grandpa passed. My grandma was a wreck and just six months later, almost to the day, she had to have open heart ...

If people gave thank you speeches when they received their diplomas, well graduation would be 36 hours long, and mine would be something like this: And all of the sudden, I don’t know where the last three years went. I don’t know how I ever passed a class for I know nothing. All of the sudden, I don’t want that diploma just yet; for there’s so much I don’t know. It’s scary---reaching a goal that is---because then what---now what?!? I have these wings and they are small, but fierce; and they are desperate to be used, yet drip with fear of the unknown. ·          Thank you to every job for helping me realize what I wanted to do and giving me the courage to go back to school. ·          Thank you, Dad, for cutting out 100 perfect squares for a board game for Ed. Psych. ·          Thank you Mandy K., for letting me use your words, kids, and Cenla DSA for writ...