An Open Letter

An Open Letter: 

To the person who has caused my family so much grief the past few months:

You have proven yourself to be the most selfish person that I know—and I teach teenagers, that really says something. You have proven yourself to be more manipulative and conniving than anyone ever suspected. You have used your words like swords; your actions like boulders—cutting and crushing everyone and everything in your path. You honestly believe the lies that you have spread. Man, you are a real piece of work. 

But, I don’t want to spend this letter hashing out everything that has happened. There’s a 15 page handwritten letter in the notebook on my coffee table that does just that. What I do want to do here is thank you. Thank you for this crazy season. In your craziness, I have been able to learn more about my Lord. Yes, there are days when I would love nothing more than to shake you or throat punch you, but the fact that I haven’t is proof that He is working. 

Someone once said, “To love her is to forgive her” I can’t say that I am completely there…. But, I know the One who is guiding me there. I’ve seen and tasted His goodness among the evil that has been spewed.

In everything that you have meant for evil and as, in your words, “punishment,” my family has used to grow closer. In fact, we have all grown closer because of you and your swords and boulders. But more importantly, we have seen Him in a new light. 

I know for me, personally, I have seen His grace be unending. Because every time I scream out “I am done!” That still small voice soothes my burning words with “But I am not. My grace has not run out.” 

And oh, am I humbled! Boy, am I ever so humbled to know that He is not done. His grace never runs out—where would I be if His River of Grace ran out? 

I will never understand why you are the way you are. I will never understand why you have done what you have done. I will never understand a lot. And that is okay.

What I know I have to be able to do is extend grace and that doesn’t mean that I have to be fake—but it does mean that I get over myself. And I am earnestly working on that, thanks to you. 

 And if I am real—I will probably still get really annoyed with your games and selfishness, but I am working on that, too. 

Despite it all, I know I speak for all of us when I say, we do care. We care more than you know and probably more than we should. (Hence this letter.) Despite it all, we will love you in spite of yourself. We will still be here should you ever get over yourself. 

And the only reason I can say the previous statements and mean them is because of the work He is doing. He is bigger than this. He is bigger than you. He is bigger than the boulders you've thrown. He is bigger than my hurt. He is bigger than my anger. He is bigger than me. For that, I am so thankful.

Sincerely, 

Just this girl