Time to Breathe

So I know this is months later, but I found this "blog" on my computer and wanted to share:

It’s New Year’s Eve and 2008 is quickly coming to a close. No big party this year. No big midnight celebration for me; instead, I sit alone with Alex snuggled next to me and I am anxious. Anxious. The last two years have been a hurricane of real life with this past fall as a defining moment in life for me. I’m anxious to say goodbye to a year whose events will forever be with me and hello to a year with its own adventures and memories to be made. 2008. I never thought, never in my wildest imagination dreamed of a 2008 like I had. January, I don’t even remember you except for a fabulous 23rd birthday party. February and March brought restoration for a father and son. April, I don’t remember you but May, let the craziness begin. On May 28th, I found out my job was being outsourced to Houston. That evening there was confessed love and a proposal. June, you brought a family reunion to remember and honors, but you also brought cancer to a rock in my family. July brought threats, heartache and “vacations” from friendships. August brought restoration in His time. September, you did not fail in becoming a defining moment; for you brought many nights on Hwy. 165 to be at the bedside of two members fighting the hardest battle of their frail lives. You brought strength when that’s all there was. YOU, pulled the shock and awe of them all. October brought deaths. November and December have been a blur; a blur of emotion, of shock, of exhaustion but you did bring many wonderful family memories.2009. What will you bring? Please no more heartache and storms like the last two. I have to catch up. I need to breathe. Please, 2009, bring some happiness. Bring change and growth. There’s a quote “You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have.” I chuckle, for how many times over the past two years have my soul mates heard me say “I have to be strong for my family.” ?? Probably more than some people ever say their entire life. Strength; I have none of my own. These past two years have taught me AT LEAST that much, that my strength is no more, but His strength wakes me every morn and takes each breath for me these past three months. Thru moments of suffocation from life, thru the tears, the heartache, the whys, the nightmares, the pain….its only been Him that I can accredit my current breathing pattern.The fireworks are blazing and the clock says 12:01. Hello, 2009, please let’s take it slow. I just need to breathe for a moment.

Comments

i was in the hospital watching the new orleans fire works with the other guy who had been smoking dope while being a patient at ochsners. I would say 2009 is proving to at least be an improvement of 2008- not saying more trials won't come, but at least God's giving you some peace right now. (sigh) it's nice. i'm learning we shouldn't push so fast in life, for it will push itself VERY QUICKLY.

Popular posts from this blog

Lovin' My Louisiana

Faith's Fluffy Friday

No Day But Today!