An Open Letter

To the husband and wife who curled their noses at me, only after giving me the judgmental once over, and then proceeded to make rude comments about my physical appearance, while I was within earshot: I pity you.

       You are the part of society that tells people they are never enough: their bodies are never fit enough; their hair never quite right; their crooked smile isn't white enough; their laugh is too loud; their thighs don’t have a gap; and the list could go on and on.

        I left my house Saturday feeling pretty, an occurrence that does not happen all that often between the teacher clothes and sweatpants. I left my house looking forward to a shopping trip with some sweet ladies, whom I cherish. This was a good day and I had won the mental battle; a battle that should never have to be fought, except there are people like you in this world. After hearing your rude comments and how you summed me up in your eyes and words without a thought, or  returning a smile, or a hello, I choked. I choked on tears and the battle began with thoughts that I was an embarrassment to be seen with my friends. However, I refused to let you win. See, unlike you, I was able to see past your physical appearance. I was able to see past your shallow comments and know that while words do hurt, your words were not going to hurt me. Your words were not going to ruin me. I know who I am and I am happy with who I am. I do not need to put others down to know this. The “sticks and stones” saying is crap and we all know this. However, I get to choose how I let words affect me. And I choose to let your words make me a better person.

       That being said, I should really thank you. Thank you for being like you are because that pushes me to be a better person.  Thank you for being shallow, for that forces me to dig deeper and find some grace and mercy. Thank you for your unkind words because that forces me to be more kind and wise with my words. You are the reason that I go above and beyond to make sure my students know they are enough. You taught me a valuable lesson in the aisle at Marshalls. See, I understand how powerful words are. I learned this and it has been a lesson that God has had to remind me of time and time again. While I wanted to walk up to you and give you a piece of my mind, I knew that I would become just like you in the process.

       So now, I will pray for you every time I see your face plastered on a billboard in town. In fact, I will pray that business is booming so much that your billboards multiply. I pray that when you have a little girl you lavish her in genuine love and she never struggles with the insecurities that are rampant in most girls and women. I pray that you grow up and learn that there is so much more to a person, even in the store, than what meets the eye. And I pray that you find happiness within yourself. 

 “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.  Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either."  Luke 6: 28-29 

And just for fun, I will leave you with a favorite poem of mine:

 

Homage to my hips

By Lucille Clifton

These hips are big hips

they need space to

move around in.

They don't fit into little

petty places. These hips

are free hips.

They don't like to be held back.

These hips have never been enslaved, 

they go where they want to go

they do what they want to do.

These hips are mighty hips.

These hips are magic hips.

I have known them

to put a spell on a man and

spin him like a top!