Another Successful Semester Down

It is hard for me to believe that I have been back in school for a year and a half now, another 3 semesters closer to my goal. Looking back, it has flown by and wow what a ride it has been!

This particular semester that just ended was probably the most successful semester so far. Just one of the highlights and academic achievements was the Texas Tech Center for Undergrad Research Conference in April. I know you all are probably sick of reading about this accomplishment but I have had a few people ask for the actual finished product that was presented.

So, while this will be a lengthy post here is the written version of my oral/paper presentation that did receive an honorable mention:

"We live in a society where “sex sells”, but sex only in respect to male domination; a woman’s body is literally the billboard for the product.  Words such as “slut”, “loose” and “whore” are adjectives that come to mind for a woman who is comfortable in her sexuality. The battle between the sexes is still going strong and the women are losing because of their physicality, while men stand by and rise to the top anyway. Take a look at the Website godaddy.com’s commercials.  Do they sell or traffic women in tight white shirts?  Are they a business for purchasing big, perky breasts? Godaddy’s ads do not give me a real clue about what they’re selling.

 Currently, in the 21st century, politicians debate whether to offer free birth control to women.  Religious convictions aside, a woman who was in support of the inclusion of birth control in her insurance coverage was called a “slut” by a national radio commentator!  Publius Ovidius Naso, known as Ovid, was a Roman poet born in 43 BC.  He often wrote about taboo topics.  Many scholars have said Ovid was indeed the first feminist. He gave voice to the oppressed women of his day and ironically enough, the voice he gave is still relevant to ears in today’s society, a 21st century society where women are ridiculed for owning their sexuality.  Ovid’s ideas are relevant today though the poet died in 18 A.D.  While I enjoy Ovid’s art and his perspectives on human behavior, I am saddened that our society has not progressed much where women are concerned.  Why are women okay with continued oppression?

Ovid, in one of his early books entitled Amores, or Loves, advises women not to “…rely too much on looks, they can prove deceptive/ Whoever you are: have something more than physique!” (II lns. 143-144).  Though the poet is from an ancient civilization, he wants women to know that they are more than objects to be examined.  Yet, then and now, society encourages women to be seen as products.  Should a woman become educated, even independent, and successful?  Society tells women that becoming an object is better than becoming educated.  Society, and we all make up society, promotes the need in women for male attention, no matter the cost. Women use the art of sexual manipulation in order to survive, thus supporting the idea that women are objects for sex and domination.

Being a woman in today’s society is a double-edged sword. We want to be successful and we want to be equal to men in responsibilities, performance, and salary, yet we exploit ourselves for money in ways that men do not, or cannot.  Our femininity is a marketing tool. We walk a tightrope between being prudes and being sluts. Women want men’s approval and attention and have been known to resort to using their bodies to gain them. Ovid explains why when he writes that “If [men] cannot touch girls’/Bodies, they’ll smear their names: though the flesh escape/ Defilement, [a] reput[tation] is tarnished.” (II: ln 633-635).  In an effort to save our reputations in a man’s world, we will choose to lose our dignity and self-respect.

Sex is a staple ingredient in everyday life and the marketing world has capitalized on women’s sexuality to sell any product.  One marketing blunder occurred in New York City when an advertising firm presented a topless woman in a provocative stance.  A viewer’s graffiti asked “And we wonder why women are raped?”  A constant diet of products sold because of the exploitation of women breeds life to the argument “she asked for it”, completely ignoring any male responsibility or lack of control.

When Ovid discusses the rape of the Sabine women during the founding of Rome, he writes of that mass rape in such detail that critic Mary Beard argues that Ovid’s account of the violent attack eroticizes women’s fear and tears.  While I do not agree with Beard (I think Ovid describes the rapes as a way of shaming the Republic), one could ask why the Sabine women didn’t kill themselves rather than become victims of rape. Being a martyr for what one believes is noble, but life may be the better option.  Death cannot bring about a resolution.  I do not wish to negate the lives of people who have died for a cause, or a country, but rather to explore the value of female virginity.​

Ovid’s collection entitled The Art of Love describes a scene where men are calling dibs on which woman would be theirs for the taking.  The poet declares that  “Project Rape was on. Up they [the soldiers]/ sprang then/ With a lusty roar, [and] laid hot hands on the girls.” (I: ln114-116).  Ovid goes on to describe a nightmarish scene of “panic-striken” girls “Not one had the same color in her cheeks as before” (I: ln 119-120).  It was, the poet says “The same nightmare for all, though terror’s features varied” (I ln: 121).  Many of my classmates were emphatic about how they would have responded.  They declared that they would have rather died than be raped.  But, to me, choosing a kind of assisted suicide wouldn’t help anyone. My death would not bring hope to those who lived to become victims.  I believe this way because I have been a rape victim.   I know from experience that dying for my virginity would not solve anything.  If I had chosen a bullet, violence against women would not stop.  Death would be a complete surrender of my being and my rapist would become a conqueror.

By choosing life, I chose not to let my rapist take anything more from me.  I would choose to be attacked rather than to be killed.  Ovid writes that of the Sabine women, “Some tore their hair, some just froze/ Where they sat; some, dismayed, kept silence, others vainly/ Yelled for Mamma; some wailed; some gaped;/ Some fled, some just stood there. So they were carried off as/ Marriage-bed plunder;” (I: ln 121-126).

I was virgin when I was attacked.  Sure, the attack was horrific, my greatest nightmare come to life. I would rather not relive the details but I never want to forget that pivotal night in my history. I am living proof that death is not always the best way to achieve the change that one strives to achieve.

I do not believe I am a martyr, nor do I view myself as a victim, instead I choose the word victor. There is hope, and a better life after one’s rape and I want my life to prove this truth.  Life after a tragedy is not easy; however there is no life on earth after death. In life we have obstacles, trials, and hardships, however, without these situations the human race would not appreciate the value of life. Change and hope can be born in the aftermath of a tragedy. Hope is the act of getting up after everything sacred, everything that is safe and familiar has been stripped away. Hope is picking up the pieces when everyone expects failure or when the strength to pick up one’s self is just not there. Hope is moving on as a better and stronger person in spite of tragedy. Living is the ultimate revenge, not death.

My own personal experience with the subject of rape has opened my eyes and made me more aware of the place of women in society.  I choose to allow my rape to be a chance to help change the usual views held by society about women.  In a world where a woman’s body is seen as an object, rape and other sex crimes against women are still rampant. Our society is fed a constant diet of sex on the breasts and buttocks of women. How can women expect to be respected for who they are, rather than the fact that they are simply female?  Ovid spoke about this dilemma two thousand years ago, and yet here the issue is, relevant today.

We need to ask ourselves if survival is worth losing our respect for our bodies, so much so that we just allow them to be portrayed as objects on every billboard, pop up ad, and commercial.  Ovid, the ancient “teacher of love” would disagree with the sexist treatment of today’s woman.  He would beg women to stand up and speak for the sanctity of their bodies.  He would remind us today that yes, we can enjoy sex just as much as any man but no, that enjoyment does not make us immoral, nor does sexual pleasure invite domination.  Being a confident woman who owns her sexuality does not mean being a woman who wants her privacy exposed to the world, neither does it mean being a depraved woman.  For a society to be happy with female sexuality means that the society allows strong women to be individuals instead of objects.  Thank you.”