The Town Christmas Forgot

In the wake of a time stopping tragedy, America mourns the loss of heroes and sweet children.  One week ago, just 11 days before Christmas, these angels left us in a brutal attack. I cannot begin to imagine the gnawing pain; the shock; the disbelief. As I sit here, I am still struggling between being entirely consumed with the facts and being in total denial of such events. When I read the first status about the shooting, I thought, "No. Dear God, please let this be false." As the day unfolded, I was in a state of shock simply not understanding why the children, why the sweet babes? As a future educator my thoughts continued, “A school should be a safe haven for children that nurtures and encourages children. A school should not be a war zone even in a political sense. Our children are our future; our schools should be where the future is molded not stolen.”

My empathy is feeble in the reality of the earth shattering loss Newtown, Connecticut is living. I find myself wondering about the sweet moments that are now memories; the wrapped presents under the tree; the toys strewn in the yard; Saturday’s uniform; the last letters to Santa; the stolen slumber parties, birthday parties, first kisses and proms; the muddy handprints that now seem like a Picasso painting. Moments, like these, that are now a distant, aching memory. These babes were just learning to write their names and their stories.

Innocence was lost on a new level. I can't explain the heartbreak I feel for each of you. The nation has come together just like it was 9/11 all over again and if it is any comfort at all, know that the nation mourns with you. If I could sacrifice my life for those children, I would in a heartbeat.
As Christmas approaches, the loss is felt even more. This is a time of giving and joy; to see the magic of the season in little ones faces. Three years ago my Uncle Robert, who has since passed away, gave me a bag of twelve red hearts. He instructed me to give them to people who make a difference in my life as a symbol of carrying them with you. So, as feeble as it is, I give you, Newtown, this red heart knowing that the 26 angels you lost have forever changed me. Their death will not be in vain and I will carry their memory on as best I can, remembering that life is a fragile, fragile gift; remembering that evil knows no age or race or religion; remembering that when the day is done “we all bleed red”; remembering the acts of heroism and sacrifice on 12/14/12; remembering that the loss of children is a loss we all feel. In a time where we are all caught up in material gifts, political and religious divides it is children, a childlike faith that reunites us. And while the loss of a child is one that can never be forgotten, it's one we all feel, for we are all human and we all know that much, that innocent people of all ages should not pay the ultimate price.

You are now on the map of my heart, Newtown, even though you may never know me, I know you. I am just sorry it had to be this way.