The Waiting Room

“Ugh! I need the doctor to call back ASAP”

And there it was….

that still small voice…

“But do you trust Me more than the doctor?”

Whoa.

It has been a rough week for many reasons. One of those reasons was some tests the doctors were doing on my dad. To say it has been a little unnerving would be putting it mildly. While waiting on more details from the doctor. I text a friend the opening (above) text.

Then my faith was slapped into check.

“But do you trust Me more than the doctor?” resonated with my soul and brought me to tears at my desk. I could not process the worry anymore for I was having a crisis of faith right there on my planning period in my classroom.

Oh modern medicine, how complex you are when it comes to faith. I believe that God has given us the tools and knowledge to use modern medicine, but our trust must remain in Him. 

“Of course God’s got this” I thought

“Of course God is bigger than anything…

    even……

           cancer…..”

“Of course….” I thought with a wavering faith

But…..

But....

But what....

I was not resting in His word, but yet I was waiting on the Doctor’s word. 

We pray to Him for healing. We pray to Him for good results. We pray to Him for a number of things. 

But, we wait on the doctor.

We wait on our circumstances to change. 

Then we thank Him for the report.

We thank Him for the change.

But, that waiting is tricky isn’t it?

That waiting room——with so much in balance….

The waiting room is where our faith is tested. The waiting room is where everything we "know" about God is tested. I sing "it is well," but is it really? Because the day we were waiting for test results, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to sing “It is well.” I was in the waiting room—metaphorically—and I couldn’t see a way out. I needed to do something. But I was to wait. 

Tests of faith—they are complex. They make us question our relationship with Him, while tearing down our misconstrued ideas of who He is and rebuilding our faith stronger. The Bible says that “if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, move from here to there and it would move.” So, why is it so hard to have this faith in the God of all creation? That looked at everything and decided He needed me and you? That knows every hair on my head? That has all things suspended? 

Because letting go—and completely giving it over to Him, releases us from the false idea that we are in control at all. It is always easier when we are in someone else’s waiting room, right? But when it is ours, when our faith is being tested and we start putting limitations on God, that’s when the work really begins. 

These waiting rooms are where battles are fought—where we are broken—where we are humbled—where we are renewed—where we find peace regardless of the chaos. These waiting rooms are where our Martha and Mary weigh it out and learn that all we need to do is sit at His feet. 

These waiting rooms happen in different areas of our lives and some waiting rooms last for years. Don’t lose faith, but rather lose yourself and let your faith grow. I am not saying it is easy, because Lord knows, I have been in my own fair share of waiting rooms and still find myself in some. But one thing I know and am continuous being reminded of is that He is in the room with me. He is molding my faith. He is growing my faith. I am learning more about who He is. And that—well, isn’t that what this is all about? 

“They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the LORD to care for them.”

Psalms 112:7 

"Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him." Isaiah 30:18   

Oh, I do want to tell you that all tests came back great and my dad is fine. Of course he would be better without the kidney stones.

Until next time, Dearies!