Snowy 33

33 begins today. 

32 was an eventful year to say the least. 

32 brought me closer to the Lord despite circumstances. 

32 brought boxes and lots of them.

32 brought purging.

32 brought hope.

32 brought me my future husband, my forever.

32 made me a mom. 

Oh, and I finished my Masters, which seems insignificant in light of everything the Lord has been up to. 

But, above all that 32 brought me, it brought me a new understanding of God’s sovereignty, His love, and His mercy.

I know I sound like a broken record when I say that I’m in awe of what the Lord has done and how He chose me for this journey. But, I will say it until there’s no breath left in me. 

For years, literal years, I have prayed for my future husband and for a family of my own. For years, I have dreamed of seeing Christmas through my own children’s eyes.

For years, I have prayed for the shoulders that would hold me when I just couldn’t anymore that day.

For years, I have prayed for those empty chairs at the dinner table to be filled.

For years, I have prayed for dance recitals, ballgames, homework projects, giggles after bedtime, and spilled milk.

For years, I have prayed for the man whom I would spend the rest of my life with--the one who makes me laugh when I don’t want to--the one who pulls me into the street to dance in the rain, the one who whom my soul loves.

And it came like a whirlwind and sometimes I just need to process and take a deep breath.

One day I woke up and all of the sudden all of that is here---in my heart---and in my life. It is a reality---my reality. There was no easing into this life.

It was more as if God was like “Okay aaaaand go!”

And He jumped, with Him on my back, out of the plane without warning. And we are still falling and I am trying to catch my breath as everything is flying by. I know He is in control and I know He will pull the parachute eventually, but right now everything is fast and blurry. Everything is wrapped in His sweet mercy and love as He purges.

Our story is beautiful. Our story is sweet. There is nothing I would ever change about it---even on the toughest days. 

What I didn’t expect was all of this rearranging and changing within me that would take place. For years I have been the single girl. The one who hoped for a life like the one I have now, but the one who also buried a lot of crap on top of those desires to ease the hurt, loneliness, and bitterness (and I even wrote blogs about it).

My priorities have changed.  “My world is changing. I'm rearranging.”

But, I must say that with all of these changes, both outward and inward, I know He is in the center of them all and that is all I desire.

So, with that being said, here’s to another year!

32 is done and 33 has begun—and so far, on this snowy day that’s been full of cuddles and kisses, its looking pretty great. 

Until next time, dearies!