Gratitude and Grief

"Disney+ on the TV—The kids’ giggles in the living room—I’m working on my Thanksgiving dishes for tomorrow, and my sweet hubby will be on his way home from work shortly—the scene used to be one that was just a far off dream I had in my heart. And now, it’s a beautiful reality. It’s my beautiful reality. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and awe at just how good God is. #thankful #blessed #littlethings #tuppertales"

I posted the above as a quick snapshot to document a moment and emotion last night. The kitchen was a mess and the noise was constant, but I couldn’t help my gratitude that this was exactly what I’ve prayed for for years. 

Husband. Kids. Baking. Cooking. Disney on a loop. Christmas lights. I mean, it really couldn’t get more perfect. It is exactly what my heart has desired for so many long years. 

Is it perfect? No. 

Would I change it? No.

It is beautiful. 

My older kids and I saw Frozen 2 this week. Y’all. Disney has done it again. I don’t believe I’ve cried in one of their films like I did Frozen 2 since Up! And even then I’m not sure it was to this magnitude. 

It was beautiful. It was deep. It was dark at times. It dealt with emotions. Emotions that so many are feeling this holiday season. So many of us are trying to do “the next right thing.” 

When it seems all is lost for Anna, she carefully and beautifully sings about grief and life still going. So, she just does “the next right thing” by taking one breath at a time. Y’all. (One moment, my eyes are getting wet.)

As one who has not experienced the level of grief as others that I know and love have, I’ve watched and listened and empathized as much as I possibly could. This song. Taking the next breath or step—It’s all you can do when the grief grips every part of who you are and touches everything around you.  That next step feels like Everest. That next step is not something you just get over. That next step may kill you. 

It’s the holiday season of 2019 and for some it looks completely different from last year. Be patient. Be considerate. Be present.

In my moments, I never want to take for granted what and who I still have. 

I don’t want to miss this—not one single moment. 

I implore you to do the same. Be present. We never know...we just never know. 

Take the pictures.  But down the offenses. Laugh—hard. Cry—if you need. Feel. Feel it all. Love—harder. Just be present. 

I know this is all over the place and I’m not even sure if I am expressing my emotion well because it’s overwhelming. But, I’m laying in bed with my 9 month old sleeping peacefully next to me; my sexy husband in the kitchen; my precious 9 year old sleeping, probably dreaming about unicorns; and my spunky 7 year old sleeping on his tooth fairy money. We will head to my parents in a few hours. Y’all. Life is good. In this moment, life is good. In this season, life is good. 

The Lord has been so good to us—so gracious. We don’t always or ever understand why He does things the way He does. But, He is always a “Good, Good Father.” 

As we go about today, be present.  And if all you can do is “the next right thing,” that’s perfectly fine. 

Alright, I am headed off here to go snuggle my babies and drink a cup of coffee in bed--thanks to my hunk.

Until next time dearies, Happy Thanksgiving!

Take the pictures.  But down the offenses. Laugh—hard. Cry—if you need. Feel. Feel it all. Love—harder. Just be present