Whistling Diva

*****DISCLAIMER: This is a girl’s ONLY post. I would suggest that if you are NOT a female you NOT read this post; you MAY be scarred for LIFE, boys!!!*****

http://www.divacup.com/

I am writing this blog because honestly it’s a funny story but should probably be told over a few cosmos however I am considering this as a “how to” or “educational” blog for fellow women.

I had a friend tell me about the diva cup.(You can click the link above and read up on it.) She raved about how easy it is to use and how much money in the long run she was going to save by purchasing one. Intrigued by this, “green” invention I researched the diva cup. After a few weeks of research and pondering and ok I will confess, being a little confused on how this thing worked I ordered one. It came in and even came with a pretty little pin that says “DIVA” with a pink flower. I don’t know why anyone would want to wear this pin like the scarlet letter but hey, to each their own.
After “anxiously” waiting to be able to use my Diva Cup, the time came. My monthly BFF was in town and the Diva Cup was staring at me…taunting me. Ironically enough, some friends and I were going Tiki Tubing on the Amite River. As many of you could correctly assume, the river and sandbars are not exactly a fun place to tend to your womanly business so I thought “Perfect!! I’ll diva this!!” Morning comes and I go to the back bathroom to meet my new friend the Diva Cup. I pull out the instructions and I’m reading the directions “fold, insert, twist it should suction to you” (Yes, I did read that summary aloud as if to psych myself up)So there I am, swimsuit around my ankles: “fold it” check; “bend knees” check; “it’s in “and “now twist” I twisted and twisted this Diva Cup and it would not “suction” I thought “maybe I did it wrong” I tried the steps again, still just twists. Then I thought that maybe it did but it’s still able to twist. So I put my swimsuit on and I am trying to adjust….to this foreign THING “maybe its not so bad and I take a step into the hallway. I walk down the hallway and I hear this low whistle sound. I stop to investigate this sound however when I stop, the whistle stops. So I take another step*whistle*step* whistle* step* whistle* I tried to contain my laughter as I told my mom to mute the tv. I took a step and sure enough there was the whistle she said “what is that??? “ I said “um yeah I’m pretty sure that’s my va jay jay whistling” So, there I stood in the middle of the living room with my va jay jay whistling different pitches with different hip movements. I mean I basically could have played Yankee Doodle with my HOO-HA!!! THAT is talent, America, buuuuut you won’t see ME on a talent show ;)
Now, I have friends that use this contraption and I have read reviews on this and never have I come across one that made another woman’s HOO-HA whistle, so I feel that this should be known to the women that are trying to go “green”. I support the Diva cup however you should be warned of the possible whistling factor. So now you know.
OH and for your curious minds, I did NOT whistle my way down the river that day. I have decided that I am too much of a Diva for the Diva Cup and I go at it old school style. =)

Comments

i'm cracking up laughing out really loud all at home by myself (Lauren's at camp)... Your "men stop reading" quote at the top only intrigued me more and probably will more men...

It's like telling a child they can't touch the wall and you turn your back and they do. I was told not to read and I read.

TOO FUNNY! My favorite moment was the mental imagery of watching your mother as you were whistling around the hallway & living room. OH BETTY!
Jodi W. said…
I wish you had an audio clip to go with this!!!! And I think you should give the Diva Cup another go. And sad times you didn't go whistling down the river. We would've enjoyed!
TracyBlalock said…
OMGosh, I have never laughed so are and I was thinking exactly what Drew said as I was reading your warning post.

And now, I'm going back to click on this diva cup link because I'm still at a loss as to what the heck you are talking about. Although, I know what you are implying I don't like the thought of going "green". I'm in the tree business, you know. =0)
Amanda Trisler said…
I can certainly picture your face as you walked and whistled. HA! That's too funny. And I'm not interested in going "green". I'll stick with the old school ways without the mess!

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