Don't Cheat Yourself
Today is my last day as a 28 year old. I usually do some type of birthday blog where I recall the year; however, this year it would have definitely been similar to the New Year's blog. I had thought about not writing one this year---I mean, who would really notice?--but here I am "inspired" by one of these small moments in life.
28--It was a good year! Within this last year, I feel like I really became comfortable in my own skin. I was more honest with myself, which overflowed into those around me. I allowed myself to feel--to take a chance--to fall and to fail. Did I get my heart broken? There are not words--yet--to describe it, so I will simply say yes. Did I fail at certain goals? Yes but I got up and started again. Did I succeed in some goals? Yes, so I have made new ones. The point is: I am still living, learning, changing, and growing.
In 2014, I told myself I would try a new, more rigorous workout. So, yes, I "drank the kook-aid" and I am trying Crossfit. ---Stop! I promise this is not some ploy to be able to tell you I am "cross-fitting." There's a point--I promise!--- I started on the 6th and I am not going to lie, it is pure hell on earth during that hour. I have never thought so many curse words. I have never looked at someone with pure hatred like I have my dear friend and coach. I have had to hold back laughter when they say "Okay, that's the warm up. Now for the workout!" What the hell was that?? I can't breathe! I am sore and sweating---like a man!! It's hell and I hate it, but love it.
So, Monday night, I had to run 100 meters to a mailbox and back for 3 reps. (So 600 meters total---not a lot, but there was a lot more to this workout) The mailbox was out of the line of vision my coach. I so wanted to cheat. There were about 10 feet left of one rep. before it was time to turn back. Just turn back...it's only 10 feet. They won't know. ---My mind told me.
"Don't cheat yourself."---My heart pounded.
Those three words pushed me to run with heart those last 10 feet before turning around. Those three words have also been with me since that workout.
Don't cheat yourself.
Because I matter.
It would not have made a difference to anyone had I turned around before reaching that white mailbox--but me. I know this applies to workouts and life changes in general, but for me it has been much more than that.
I am a planner and I can be a worrier. When life isn't just how I think it should be, I can spiral downward into the world's most fabulous pity party in about .03 seconds. I can pick apart everything that is wrong with me and my life compared to anyone else's---seriously, anyone! But, I don't need to cheat myself of living in the moment. Living for the moment I am in, and soaking every morsel it has to offer. I will never get my 20's back---are there some things I'd do differently?? Well, that is another post in and of itself. I will never get back the lonely tears that could cure the worst drought. I will never get back the moments that I have spent pining away for something---anything---but what I have now.
Don't cheat yourself.
Living with the a motto is cheesy---I get it, but what else do you expect from me, my 2 readers? Something clicked when my heart pounded those words: Don't cheat yourself.
As I turn 29, I will live with this in my heart. I will not cheat myself of my current joy and blessings by worrying about some timeline for my life. I will not cheat myself when it comes to enjoying where I am, for I do not know what tomorrow brings. I will savor those last 10 feet, knowing that I did not cheat myself when it would have been so easy. I will not cheat myself over past heartaches and regrets, and I will open my arms wide open to each moment of each day. Life is beautiful and should be savored in moments.
So, here's to the last year of my 20's and there will be no cheating!
Until next time, Dearies!
28--It was a good year! Within this last year, I feel like I really became comfortable in my own skin. I was more honest with myself, which overflowed into those around me. I allowed myself to feel--to take a chance--to fall and to fail. Did I get my heart broken? There are not words--yet--to describe it, so I will simply say yes. Did I fail at certain goals? Yes but I got up and started again. Did I succeed in some goals? Yes, so I have made new ones. The point is: I am still living, learning, changing, and growing.
In 2014, I told myself I would try a new, more rigorous workout. So, yes, I "drank the kook-aid" and I am trying Crossfit. ---Stop! I promise this is not some ploy to be able to tell you I am "cross-fitting." There's a point--I promise!--- I started on the 6th and I am not going to lie, it is pure hell on earth during that hour. I have never thought so many curse words. I have never looked at someone with pure hatred like I have my dear friend and coach. I have had to hold back laughter when they say "Okay, that's the warm up. Now for the workout!" What the hell was that?? I can't breathe! I am sore and sweating---like a man!! It's hell and I hate it, but love it.
So, Monday night, I had to run 100 meters to a mailbox and back for 3 reps. (So 600 meters total---not a lot, but there was a lot more to this workout) The mailbox was out of the line of vision my coach. I so wanted to cheat. There were about 10 feet left of one rep. before it was time to turn back. Just turn back...it's only 10 feet. They won't know. ---My mind told me.
"Don't cheat yourself."---My heart pounded.
Those three words pushed me to run with heart those last 10 feet before turning around. Those three words have also been with me since that workout.
Don't cheat yourself.
Because I matter.
It would not have made a difference to anyone had I turned around before reaching that white mailbox--but me. I know this applies to workouts and life changes in general, but for me it has been much more than that.
I am a planner and I can be a worrier. When life isn't just how I think it should be, I can spiral downward into the world's most fabulous pity party in about .03 seconds. I can pick apart everything that is wrong with me and my life compared to anyone else's---seriously, anyone! But, I don't need to cheat myself of living in the moment. Living for the moment I am in, and soaking every morsel it has to offer. I will never get my 20's back---are there some things I'd do differently?? Well, that is another post in and of itself. I will never get back the lonely tears that could cure the worst drought. I will never get back the moments that I have spent pining away for something---anything---but what I have now.
Don't cheat yourself.
Living with the a motto is cheesy---I get it, but what else do you expect from me, my 2 readers? Something clicked when my heart pounded those words: Don't cheat yourself.
As I turn 29, I will live with this in my heart. I will not cheat myself of my current joy and blessings by worrying about some timeline for my life. I will not cheat myself when it comes to enjoying where I am, for I do not know what tomorrow brings. I will savor those last 10 feet, knowing that I did not cheat myself when it would have been so easy. I will not cheat myself over past heartaches and regrets, and I will open my arms wide open to each moment of each day. Life is beautiful and should be savored in moments.
So, here's to the last year of my 20's and there will be no cheating!
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