Things Students Say

I once heard someone say something to the effect that a teacher's brain is like have 37,485 internet tabs open at once. Well, friends, I am here to tell you that is absolutely 100% correct. If you have ever wondered why teachers are exhausted by the last bell or the real reason we don't know what we want to eat, it is because for the better part of the day we are making numerous decisions, thinking our own thoughts, being needed, being called all kinds of names, teaching, trying to teach, laughing, crying, trying not to cry, trying not to laugh, becoming a master at holding our bladders, and answering the most off the wall questions. 

The latter is why I am writing. Over the last two or three days, I have secretly kept a log of just some of the things that I have overheard students saying. Consider this just a glimpse into a teacher's day.

“Planks will define your 6 pack 10 fold”

“You smell like fountain water”

“Look big puddin’!”

“Anime man. Weird stuff.”

“I mean let’s be real, if you’re a good stripper thats cash money no taxes. I am too fat to be a stripper.”

“You’re not too fat to be a stripper. My aunt was a stripper….”

“Your family tree has to be a light pole to get married at Mud Fest”

“I don’t know why they are standing up. They know good and well she ain’t gonna let us leave.”

“I feel like she enjoys torturing us. I mean we have 19 days left. Why are we even doing work?”

“I swear she enjoys making our lives miserable.”

Hands kid a packet:

“This is Anne Frank’s whole diary!!”

“When I’m done with testing, Imma tell people I’m fresh outta prison.”

“Man, he was spitting game!” 

“We have no lives because they are being sucked apart by this assignment.”

“If you don’t trust me, you a hoe.”

“You’d be gay if there weren’t any women.” 

“Do midgets sleep in baby beds?”

“I have to put deodorant under my titties.” —male student

“As soon as I turn 40, I am retiring.” 

So that, my friends, is just a glimpse into why I look like this most of the time:

I hope you laughed, but maybe you're a teacher and you cried a little bit because of the truth of this post. HA!!

Until next time, dearies!

Teachers, Spring Break is almost here.....