Forgiveness

Forgiveness.

 “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”—Luke 6:28

“Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go of another person's throat......Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgment, but without true change, no real relationship can be established.........Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation.........Forgiveness does not excuse anything.........You may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely. And then one day you will pray for his wholeness......” –William Paul Young, The Shack

Forgiveness.

What a complex concept. Many believe it is an event---a defining moment---an emotional experience.

But, in reality, forgiveness is a process. It is a journey. It's a choice—day by day, moment by moment.

Forgiveness does not mean forgetting.

Forgiveness does not make you a doormat.

Forgiveness does not mean pretending the offense never happened.

Forgiveness does not mean you have to have a relationship with the person. But, it also absolutely does not condone being ugly to the person. It is not a license to feed the flesh.

Forgiveness does not mean you have to trust the person who betrayed you.

Forgiveness is not a one-time deal.

 “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke the em; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” --Luke 17:3-4

Forgiveness.

Forgiveness is for you.

Holding onto to the hurt, anger, and wallowing in the betrayal only hurts you. Forgiveness releases you from that.

Forgiveness is a choice.

Daily choosing forgiveness is a must. And you can't do it alone.

Forgiveness is unending.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” 

--Ephesians 4:31-32

How many times have I been forgiven and didn't deserve it? I can't tell you how many. So, who am I to decide what transgressions get forgiven? No one. That's who.

 “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” --Colossians 3:13

I have been guilty of misconstruing forgiveness as an event. An A-ha moment of “poof, I’m good, now.” And, I never really got to the root of the problem. The root of the problem being me. I would go about life after experiencing a hurt proclaiming that I forgave someone, but the very next time this person did or said something that I did not like, oh how the waves of wrongs would come flooding in my mind and take root in my heart.

Did I believe that I had forgiven this person? Yes. But living in true forgiveness, means that I don’t harbor ill-feelings. And, if I take it a step further, 1 Corinthians 13 reminds me that “love does not keep a record of wrong doing. And, Mark 12:31 states that I should “love [my] neighbor as myself.”

So, let’s do a quick recap.

I am to love my neighbor as myself.

Love keeps no record of wrong doing.

I am to pray for those who mistreat me.

And, I am to forgive as the Lord has forgiven me.

Forgiving is not a sign of weakness, but a mere of choosing Him over my pride and hurt.

Choosing to know that He is bigger than any hurt or betrayal and can use it.

Forgiving does not make me a doormat for people.

Whew! Right?!

Do I have it all figured out?

Heck no.

But, what I know now is that it is a process. It is a daily choice that I have to walk in actively forgiving someone. And let me tell you, it is only by His grace and mercy that that can be done.

I am walking a journey that has me learning this with a new heart. And boy has it been a journey! I never realized how much had taken root in my heart.

Some of you may know or have picked up on that maybe sometimes I can kind of be a spitfire. Shocking, I know. However, lately, I am constantly reminded that I am not responsible for what other people do or say—regardless. But, I am responsible for how I respond to each. THAT has humbled me and helped me allow God to keep His hand over this mouth.

Matthew 5:44

“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.”

So, again, this is a raw post where I bare a current journey that I am on. I hope I am not alone. Maybe you have walked this path or maybe you are walking it currently. Maybe none of this made sense. Either way…

Until next time, Dearies.