Faith's Findings

The trouble with fostering children comes in the realm of prayers.  You see, I want the best for the children, but I don't want the biological parents to succeed. So, what does that say about me?!? While I'm praying for "God's will"---or really what I think is best---I'm really praying that "those people"---who need Jesus just as much as I do---fail and stay bound in the life that got them here.  Yes. That's my disgusting human heart. That's where I have found myself lately: celebrating when "those people" fail miserably.  I'll let that sink in. It's disgusting. I know.  However, watching and walking this journey with some very close people in my life has allowed God to reveal Himself to me in a new way---which also means, revealing some pretty disgusting things in my heart. Like my inner happy dance when "those people" fail. See, I haven't found myself praying for "those people." I haven't found ...

A  teacher's brain on the first day of school is a scary place. Actually, it's a scary place anytime. At any given point there are 5-10-15 thoughts happening, while managing a group of learners. It's exhausting, but it will keep you on your toes.  Here's a glimpse into my brain today: *alarm goes off* "Noooooooo!!!!!!!! It can't be!! Omgah the kids are coming today." "What am I going to wear? No. No. No. Yes!" *at school* "I bet the copier is full. Or jammed." "These new kids---will I like them? Will they like me?" "Why am I so hungry???" "Seriously, need a potty break." "Why did I wear these shoes?"  "Who invented bras anyway?" "It's only 9am?!?!?!" "Why won't that kid stop whispering while I'm talking?" "Seriously, dude, I know you're still texting or snapping or whatever." "Oh, yes!!! They believed my bluff!!" "Oh crap!! Tha...

I have an early morning and a full day with hormonal, teenage girls tomorrow. It's late and where am I? I just left the bed, where I was cuddled up with a certain dimpled face little boy, so that I can put to life the stirring within. Bear with me. We live in a fallen world. With events just this summer, I don't think many will disagree with me. We live in a society that thrives on offense and stands for little. We demand tolerance and acceptance, but only when it aligns with our own beliefs. We live in a messed up world. I won't sit here and pretend that I know what it's like to be a man trapped in a woman's body or vice versa. I won't sit here and pretend like I know what it's like to use the hashtag #lovewins without it referring to Jesus on the cross. I won't sit here and pretend that I understand the terrible shootings of recent times. I won't sit here and pretend that I think the term "hero" is clearly defined. ...

The end of the school year is a funny thing. It's bittersweet.   It's exciting, yet nostalgic.  It's the ending of families. You want summer so bad you can taste it, but you want to savor the last moments with this family because even if you teach the same group next year, the family will be different.  It's a clean slate. For 9 months, you have spent countless hours with these people. You've shared things and made memories that changed who you are as a person. Everything about you changes from year to year as a teacher. The kids force you to see the world differently, and yet isn't that why WE are there---to make them see the world differently?  I could not be happier with how this school year ended up. My kids continually wowed me. I'm not going to act like it was all rainbows and unicorns because believe me, there were plenty of times I wanted to quit. I allowed myself to get caught up in everything that is wrong with education, until one day a kid said ...

There are no state standards to measure the growth you have shown this year. And furthermore, there are no state standards to measure what I really hope you learned.  I hope you learned to appreciate differences. I hope you learned to see the world with new eyes and to talk about the tough stuff like Ferguson, racism, hate crimes, you know all that stuff that you are told are taboo. But yet, we tackled them in class and my heart swells with pride on how well you all handled it. I must say, you handled them with knowledge and grace better than most adults! Stay informed.  I hope you know that these are not the best days of your life. A lot of people will disagree with me and a lot of people will call me Pollyanna; but, the best is yet to come. You are young and have just been given your first set of wings to explore this great, big world! Have these days molded you and taught you valuable lessons? Absolutely! But remember, the best is yet to come.  I hope you always contin...

Disclaimer: I really home you read this with my inflection and sarcastic ways. I’ve come to a point in li fe where I desire a child more than a husband. Men, I blame you for this. See, I have a solid relationship with the Lord. I am in this different season of life and it is beautiful. There have been many heartbreaks, which have come with many beautiful lessons. He truly is the lover of my soul. However, I am no stranger to the dating game. And I believe my two readers know this. Yes, I am a single, happy, independent, woman, who would like to have a partner in life and start a family. However, the dating scene is truly a game. And I don’t play by the rules, mainly because I’ve never seen the rule book. So, I am just myself and apparently, that’s “intimidating.” (Yeeeeah, I am confused about that, too.) But you men, you have a perverted and twisted sense of dating these days. You court and swoon and then just stop talking—I mean, maybe the fi...

  * I urge you to listen to the song linked at the bottom of this post.* I sat and watched you in awe. I couldn't even imagine your insides as everyone watched her take your place. Watching her and… …Knowing that you knew your...her...your son better. …Knowing that this is totally out of your hands. …Knowing time is precious, yet you share it with her and him...them. …Knowing you are all he knows. …Knowing that while he knows her heartbeat from the inside, he knows that he is your heartbeat. …Knowing that if.... when...if....Lord willing not... but if...okay, when you have to hand him back,  part of you will die..... The part of you that thrives, that loves, that lives will die. …Knowing that this should be well will your, my, everyone’s soul. “So let go my soul and trust in Him The waves and wind still know His name” I found myself weeping and screaming at the word cancer dancing in my face. This was not supposed to happen to you. For you are a t...