"Another Poem About The Heart"

The semester is coming to a close and I can not wait to catch up with my blog! Meanwhile, while I getting ready for another day of class tomorrow I ran across the essay I wrote last semester in response to the poem below. In light of some bizarre events here lately I am posting this and plus it gives me an excuse to post on my blog!
Hope you enjoy!!

Another Poem About the Heart - Jenn Habel

When the floor drops out, as it has now,

you cannot hear the squirrel on the wire

outside your window, the wheels spinning

on the road below. You want only pity

and are presented with the unbelievable

effrontery of a world that moves on.

But wait: this is not the person you are.

You're the kind of person who

sits in dark theaters crying at the collarbones

that curve across the dancers' chests,

at the proof of a perfection they represent;

a person who goes out walking in a four-day drizzle,

sees a pot of geraniums and is seized, overcome

by how they can bring so much (what else

can you call it?) joy. You love the world,

are sure, at least, that you have. But be truthful:

you only love freely things that have nothing

to do with you. You're like a matchstick house:

intricately constructed but flimsy and hollow inside.

You're a house in love with the trees beside you -

able to look at them all day, aware of how faithful they are -

but unable to forgive that they'd lie down

leaving you exposed and alone in a large enough storm

Response Essay to “Another Poem About the Heart”

            As a little girl, I never dreamed about the heartache or heartbreaks I would endure in life, especially on the rocky road of love. Walt Disney does not tell the story of all the frogs before the prince or how the world goes on when just a moment is needed to catch your breath after your heart has been ripped out of your chest. No, no one really wants to mention these things that shred the heart but the reality of the world is that love is no fairytale; love is not all rainbows and butterflies.

            I know this is all sounding like a bitter old woman and I promise I really am your modern day “Pollyanna”. I believe in love and rainbows filled with glitter and the land of unicorns! However, I am not naïve to the fact that heartbreaks are necessary on this journey in life. I have been there “when the floor drops out” and life is numb. I have been there when the colors grow cold and gray, when life is just an equation of motions to get you through the day. The world does not stop for a broken heart, not even long enough to catch a breath. In fact, the world tells sends the message to just move on and get over it. Just as Jenn Habel in “Another Poem About the Heart” states “But wait: this is not the person you are.” I am not that person. I need my time to feel this heartache, to embrace this pain with arms wide open and sob until my tears run dry. I need to wallow, if only for an hour.

            As I read this poem, the words leaped off the page at me and I was left utterly speechless at the last lines that read “You’re a house in love with the trees beside you--- able to look at them all day, aware of how faithful they are--- but unable to forgive that they’d lie down leaving you exposed and alone in a large enough storm.”  Anyone that has had their heartbroken like I have can surely relate the new world of issues that come along with that first break. Now there’s this issue of trust and this fear of commitment, as if the four letter word love was not enough to deal with. Personally, it was not after until the reality of the world shattering heartbreak that I developed the fear of commitment and established a root for distrust in people with my heart. I know what it is to have your raw heart still beating, love someone all the while knowing they will be faithful but warring with the fact that I do not trust they will stand beside me in a storm of life; and yet to save your life you cannot get over the “if” factor in love.

            With any notable heartbreak, in my experience, when rebuilding one’s heart you make the walls a little thicker, vowing never to betray yourself again. Heartbreak, even as it shakes us off of our foundation defines us. It’s those “floor dropping” moments, those raw emotions that define us as human beings; those moments make us who we are and define our individual love hate relationship with love itself. If we are lucky, we will gain knowledge and hope to take with us. Hope for a better tomorrow makes today worth the pain, even when the world is still spinning.

 (I did make an A, by the way!!)

Until Next Time Dearies!!