Inside the First Days

Last week I was the sickest I've been in years, literally. So naturally, Last week I started my first teaching job. As I was driving to the school that first day, a school where I did some observations and student teaching , my mind was just focused on the journey for once---ya know making it in one piece since I was all foggy headed and not peeing when I coughed---let's be real!:-) However, when I parked it was as if a huge gong hit me over the head and I realized I was about to walk into a classroom---my classroom.

"Ummm, Faith, what the hell are you doing?!? No one else is going to be in that classroom with you. This is it. You are it. Run away now!! You know nothing!! These people are crazy for letting you… teach!!! Run away---it's not too late!!!"

I was internally screaming at myself before I could even get out of my car! But as fate would have it, this out of body experience occurred and I gathered my things and walked inside. I made my way to MY classroom and sat for just a moment. (Which in retrospect, I probably should not have done!) "Wth?!?!? There's only one of me!!!!” (I feel like this won’t be the last time I mentally scream this!)

I am struggling to breathe because I am so sick and I have now broken out in a cold sweat! (Because really, that is how we want to start the first day.) The bell rings. It takes a moment for it to register with me. “Oh that was the bell. OH THAT WAS THE BELL!!! They are coming (for me)!!!!” My insides were in a panic, but my outside was calm…and sweating a cold sweat. They came in quietly and just stared at me, like they were ready to pounce at any moment. Okay---that’s dramatic, but that’s how it felt!

The first few hours went off without a hitch. The biggest hiccup of the day was when I got the schedule confused. I was in the middle of my lunch when a class walked in. It created a really awkward few moments, but we quickly recovered.

So, I have been wearing the label “Teacher” for four days and just like my classroom, it’s an adjustment and a work in progress. There are so many things the books don’t teach the one studying for this profession. The one I am struggling with the most right now is that I don’t know anything. I am capable of teaching these kids anything. They teach me every day!! It’s a constant state of reflection and quick decisions that affect life. These first four days have been fun, challenging, and have really made me evaluate who I am as a teacher—something that I believe will be developed over a lot of time. Also, something that I believe will change year to year, and even class to class. Teaching is not for the faint of heart.

There’s no real way to close out this blog post, but I do know this won’t be the last post on this journey. There are a lot of lessons to be learned! So, here are a few shots of my classroom, but like I said, it is a work in progress!

Oh, P.S.—Its normal to question my knowledge base, right!?!?!

Okay---for some reason, I can't get these picture to flip and some won't even show up when I upload them! ARGH!!! Oh well, you get the gist, right??

Until next time, dearies!!