Faith's Findings

We were able to shut it all out and enjoy nature, each other, and the Lord. We set up camp and immediately put on our backpacks and went down to the river. We remembered the song " Rolling River God  " as we picked up rocks that were silky smooth---and I prayed the edges of my heart were working toward that. I remembered how 13-14 years ago when I was at this place how I thought I had my life figured out. And how I thought I would come back with my husband and kids in tow. But, I looked at the Rock and caressed its edges--I smiled and sat to bask in just how far He has brought me.  We journeyed to Lost Valley--which according to the sign is neither lost nor a valley--but I would beg to differ. We saw amazing works of His hand.  I felt so small and I loved it. I relished in knowing just how small I am in this world. We climbed through the first little cave that had a waterfall and light and I was able to stand up the whole way and hop from rock to rock....

An Open Letter:  To the person who has caused my family so much grief the past few months: You have proven yourself to be the most selfish person that I know—and I teach teenagers, that really says something. You have proven yourself to be more manipulative and conniving than anyone ever suspected. You have used your words like swords; your actions like boulders—cutting and crushing everyone and everything in your path. You honestly believe the lies that you have spread. Man, you are a real piece of work.  But, I don’t want to spend this letter hashing out everything that has happened. There’s a 15 page handwritten letter in the notebook on my coffee table that does just that. What I do want to do here is thank you. Thank you for this crazy season. In your craziness, I have been able to learn more about my Lord. Yes, there are days when I would love nothing more than to shake you or throat punch you, but the fact that I haven’t is proof that He is working.  ...

Class of 2016---    I observed you during your freshmen year and as fate would have it, you were my first set of students when it was my name on the door. It seems like yesterday that the bell rang, and my flu-stricken self offered your guarded selves a smile, however, here we are at your send off into the big world.    We are probably closer than we should be because we've spent the last three years together. You've seen me at my worst and I've seen you at your best--this far.     As the school year is winding down, quickly, I think back to our first day together. We stared at each other as if each of us had two or more heads, wondering just how this was going to work...or supposed to work. You wondered if I would really last, for you had been abandoned so much that year. I wondered if I was going to last or if I had chosen the right career. Some days were rough, we all know this. And sometimes the lesson flopped, but then sometimes it soared better t...

During any moment throughout the school day, a teacher's brain has 3,486 thoughts running.  I have seen an internet meme that has about 3,486 internet tabs open as an example and I couldn’t agree more. So, if we are using that as an example, one of those tabs is his or her soundtrack--the soundtrack of lyrics to songs that we can't sing out loud. Lyrics to songs that are probably inappropriate, but somehow seem appropriate in our adult mind that lives in a non-adult world at school.  So, before we begin this testing season this week, I wanted to share some of the soundtrack that runs through my mind. However, you must not read if you are going to judge:) Who knows, maybe you can relate to a song or two! Teacher’s Soundtrack with Lyrics: Anytime while on duty:  "Y'all better not fight in this [place]" In the classroom on any day where anything might distract them: “Y'all gon' make me lose my mind up in HERE, up in here  Y'all gon' make me go all out...

Tonight, I spent the evening writing letters. Letters that I would never send, but letters that needed to be written. I never closed the letters because there was no resolution. They were open ended.  Why? Because my reality right now is not the forgiveness and mercy and grace it would take to have a resolution.  Because I thought I had dealt with things. And I did. And God did a work. But for some reason I've dug it up subconsciously.  Have you ever had something come up that brought in old and new emotions about something?!? Because that's part of what this is. And boy, has it slapped me in the face.  You see, my reality right now is full of anger. It's full of disgust. It's full of being okay with just walking away from certain people and never looking back. My reality is to just be done.  But I know....somewhere in my heart---under all of this---under all of me---there's the knowledge that that's not He would do. He would extend that grace and mercy once aga...

I cast my vote. But before I did, my eyes scanned up and down both parties. My heart sank and my stomach turned. The names on both lists are disheartening--each for their own reasons.  Then my heart began---Lord, I'm sorry. I don't know which button to push. I am struggling with this election more than I have with any other election. And for some reason, my heart breaks.  I love my country. I love our democracy. I sometimes think I'd like to get into politics, but I don't want to sell my soul.  My pawpaws fought faithfully for this right to vote and here I am not even sure what I am voting for anymore.  I know who I don't want in office, but I'm not sure I want any of these names in office. I know that He is Lord regardless of who sits in the Oval, but.... See, there's always that but. And maybe, just maybe that's where my problem lies. Maybe there shouldn't be that "but." Maybe, I should rest in the fact that I know the One who holds the s...

Dear Student, Stop being lazy.  Life will not be life if you do not put work into it. Yes, work. School work. Work work. Volunteer work. Relationship work. All of it counts.     I know I get mad—loud mad and quiet mad. I get mad that leaders of this country don’t encourage education anymore to you---middle and lower class. I get mad that politics drive so much in the classroom. I get mad that you are okay with barely getting by. I get mad at myself because I don’t know what else to do to make you see that THIS matters. I get mad at policy makers. I get mad at social media because they have ruined your beautiful minds. I get mad that your attention span is no more than a 7 second vine, 10 second snapchat, or 140 character tweet. I get mad because I care. I get irritated that you think all I do Is look forward to grading your essays and projects on the weekend. While it may not be as exciting as your weekend life, I do have one, and your grammatically incorrect, lacking a t...